FIRST LOVE
I, Karthik am a successful software engineer today. The long planned vacation to go to my hometown Madurai had become a reality at last. I hoped Kavitha and Vignesh would enjoy their weekend too. My Grandma, who has been my best friend till date was really happy to see all of us. She spent most of her time with Vignesh. That night happened to be a retrospective one to me. Grandma started narrating to Viggy one of my childhood incidents. She said… “Karthi as a child was very notorious yet so sweet. He was one of those children who seldom cry and would heed to all of our words. Then, it was his first day in a new school after his KG in another one. This was one of the very highly reputed schools in our town. His Dad and Mom wanted him to join this one as its standards were well known. When he returned from school that day he was a dull boy. His usual self was missing. None of us knew the reason. In the next 2 days he had become duller. That day we saw him crying for more than an hour for the first time, rather the first and last time”. I actually managed a dry smile here. They say the easiest thing in life is to smile from the heart. I felt that the toughest thing in life would be to smile from the face. Granny continued “There was something he didn’t like about that school. The next thing he knew was we put him in his previous school and got our joys back. Then on he has been our darling till today. So lively and never a dull moment when he is around. So try to emulate him in whatever you do kanna…”. Viggy had dozed off. It was Monday morning after a weekend that I would never forget. We were driving to Kavitha’s office. A bike rider gave us a skid. She saw the bike and yelled “That’s why I hate YAMAHA”. YAMAHA – My only crush in my teens. There was a time when my friend Venkat and I used to go to the canteen everyday at 12 noon to get a glimpse of a black beauty parked with its bars turned to the right unlike other bikes. Its gloss and shine gave us a dream and a heave. It was my 19th birthday and dad wanted to get me a bike. My choice was not theirs. They knew me as a rider and never would get me that one. I was an obstinate at this. Dad, Mom n granny had an hour’s discussion which saw me win the deal. But when my Mom gave me the keys of my own black Yamaha, she saw me in the eyes and said “We didn’t want to restrain your happiness but do remember that you are the base on which we are building our lives”. I was so happy that day and I wanted to repay their kindness in all that I did thereafter. “Kavitha, Can u get me a tea?” It was a full moon night. Hardly any stars were seen. I slipped into my memories again… “My college life was nothing better than school. Studies, fun at times and a huge aspiration ahead. I had few friends but none too close. There was that girl called Divya who was quietest in class. One of the simplest and ordinary looking but I don’t know how rather cant say why I was attracted towards her. She was always in the company of two of her friends Gayatri and Deepa. Theirs was a lonely group which many hated thinking that they had an attitude. I managed a smile whenever our eyes met. But I was waiting for a chance to talk to Divya. Came my birthday, I grabbed all my courage to give her a DairyMilk. She wished me and also asked for a treat to which I readily agreed. But the next few days saw us really busy as exams were round the corner and she helped me in all the materials gathering episode before the exams. We even started debugging and testing Graham Bell’s invention. Talks about lessons and at times about our families and then common interests saw us taking the relationship to a higher level. One day during our vacation I finally invited her to my home for the promised treat and also introduced all my dear ones to her. That was a day to remember for years to come I thought. She gelled well with all of us and this gave a sense of encouragement at the back of my mind. When she left my Dad said “She was very simple. Did she belong to a middle class family?” Ours being an upper class, this question sent the first shiver down my spine. But I felt that Dad wouldn’t have meant the other way. Whenever she was with me, I forgot myself. Our evening chats turned out to be a virtual video conference with me glancing at the moon and talking over the phone. The moon gradually started looking like her face to me. My parents thought that I shifted my bed to the terrace because of the scorching summer. One day Gayatri and Deepa met me alone in the lunchtime and said they doubted that Divya was getting crazier about me day by day and I should set it right if I didn’t feel the same way. This was the sweetest news I had heard in years and was so happy that I decided to talk with my granny regarding this. She would definitely talk on my behalf to dad and mom. “For the first time in life I felt like I had achieved something”. As I reached home, the situation was somber. My uncle had come to our home and was at his decibel best for which I learnt the reason was that my cousin had fallen in love with a guy from her class. Uncle was a very rigid person and wouldn’t budge. Grandma was trying to pacify him but in vain. That’s when Grandma told him “It has happened now. Don’t create an issue. After all parents should have kept an eye on their kids regularly”. I knew she meant only the good here but this provoked uncle who said “I will talk when Karthik faces a similar case. Till then its my family matter and not yours”. My parents took it only calmly and our house turned normal the very next day. But this incident sent across a very strong message to me. I realised that now my entire family’s reputation was in my hands. I thought that my parents would never object but what about the other relations, the society and the resulting mockery, ill fame etc. I spent sleepless nights. I avoided talking to my heart. I shifted my bed to my room. Hadn’t talked with Divya for a week or so. She called me for a movie “Kuch Kuch hota Hai” the following weekend. I couldn’t avoid it and obliged. But now I had taken my decision already. At the end of the movie, I put up my first act “What an absurd movie…How can such close friends become lovers rather life partners. The theme in itself is disgusting…”. She was silent for the entire ride back to her home. I bid her goodnight and hoped I had conveyed the message. Next day, her swollen eyes spoke for itself. Over the coming days I saw our relation going thru a trauma. I saw to that I was occupied in other things and never came face to face with Divya. She was on leave for days but never did she call me. Even after she came back, we occasionally met but amongst other friends. Silence prevailed in calls too. One somber chat ended with Divvu saying “Karth, your parents must be really lucky to have you as their son”. That day I felt she meant more in those words. Two months after college…she came home one day. Her face had lost its shine. I adored even the remains. She had come to invite us for her wedding. My dears were happy for her as they never really guessed otherwise. After she left, my grandma told me “Karthi, I would be really happy if you get such a girl as your life partner”. That night was the second time in my life when I.... Kavitha it was… “Viggy, tell dad its dinnertime and his half an hour terrace session is over. Now let him leave the moon for the sky”. She didn’t know that I had left her long ago. The moon hid herself behind a cloud for me to go down.
